2013 Draft Analysis and Predictions

(Evan attempted power rankings for the first 3 weeks instead of a draft analysis for this year. Most of us were still in college and were again too drunk to be doing draft analysis.)

Power Rankings after Week 1.

I've decided to attempt to create some weekly power rankings for our league, so here it goes.

1. Accounting Championships: Evan Schurman: Picked up right where he left off last season.  Lead the league in scoring by 10 points and was anchored by great QB and RB play. The reign of dominance continues.

2. Aaron It Out: Travis Owens: After an early playoff exit a year ago, Aaron It Out capitalized on great WR scoring to put up 155 pts.  One must question how consistent those numbers will remain.

3. Big Dick Playaz: Jacob Nolton: Back again after a playoff run last season BDPZ had a huge showing from the Chiefs Def. Will the strong play under new coach Andy Reid continue or is this merely a one hit wonder?

4. Masturbation in Every Nation: Alex Christensen: This team comes in 4th in the rankings after a very balanced scoring attack. MiEN will need more balance if he hopes to take down the reigning champion and top ranked Accounting Championships.

5. Purple Jesus: Zeke Kasper: After numerous claims to "actually be trying" this year Purple Jesus turned in a respectable performance but after the rough play of RGIII Monday night, the outlook on his season might be bleak.

6. Manning Bear Pig: Colton Westerberg: Picked up a big win despite scoring fewer points than many losing teams and making a rookie mistake by playing an inactive man. However, a win is a win and I look for Manning Bear Pig to score more with an actual TE in his matchup next week.

7. Caucasian Invasion: Chelsea Frederick: Same song different verse here.  A win is a win, but Caucasian Invasion definitely caught a matchup advantage here. Can she start 2-0 with a win next week against the lowly Kamifozzy?

8/9 Sand Huskies: Andrew Rosacker: Tie here because both teams lost but scored fairly high.  Sand Huskies could be poised for a solid year behind the rejuvenated Saints, but with the return of Sean Payton, how much more balance will be in the offense? Fewer points for Brees?

Von Top: Jordan Westerberg: Ran into a real buzzsaw this week against defending champion, Accounting Championships. A big matchup with Purple Jesus looms as Von Top can't afford to start in an 0-2 hole.  More RB production is needed.

10. Big TDs: Natessa Bartleson: In her league debut, Big TDs turned in a solid performance and very balanced scoring.  More points at the RB position would be very beneficial in picking up a week 2 victory against Sand Huskies.

11. New Shariff in Town: Zach Frederick:  Rough week for last years runner up.  Without a doubt NSiT would be much higher in the standings if Calvin Johnson doesn't have two TDs taken away from him and the Giants RB somehow scores negative pts.  The outlook isn't much brighter however, the Giants are looking for new RBs and NSiT's top RB, Vereen, is out for what looks like 6 weeks.

12. Bottom of the League: Tony Bartleson:  Low production at the WR position spelled doom this week for BotL.  With the emergence of Kaepernick, BotL is still a threat for the remainder of the year, but he will be tested next week against league #2 Aaron it Out.

13. Kamifozzy: Angelo Zaldarriaga:  A weak debut here for Kamifozzy, poor production at WR and RB were the big problems here. Needs some improvement before a matchup with Caucasian Invasion next week.

14. The Eiffert Tower: Alex Johnson: The week in The League for TET was not one to remember.  TET mustered only 77 points, after having 4 players fail to score over FIVE points. Improvement at WR and TE is necessary or it could be a long year for TET....

That's it for this weeks ranking.  If you have any complaints feel free to comment and I probably won't care.

Best regards, 

Evan Schurman

Reigning League Champion

Week 2 Power Rankings

And only two undefeated teams remain.

1. Accounting Championships: Evan Schurman: Nothing new here, another win to stay atop the rankings, an injury to RB Reggie Bush may be a concern  but AC is rolling.

2. Purple Jesus: Zeke Kasper: Must actually be trying....good start but concerns remain about RG3 who has only been putting up garbage time stats.

3. New Shariff in Town: Zach Frederick: biggest move up this week, great receiver play help NSiT bounce back from a poor week 1.  Last years runner up may still have a few wins left in him.

4. Bottom of the League: Tony Bartleson: Won Boss of the Week this week which moves in up in the rankings.  Expecting a big year from Kaepernick so BotL could be a force for the remainder of the year.

5. Masturbation in Every Nation: Alex Christensen: Winning bitch of the week will always move you down in the rankings.  Awful RB production spelled the demise of MiEN this week.  Will need a bounce back week to keep pace in the division.

6. Aaron it Out: Travis Owens: Falls a few spots after a rough week against the week's boss. Weak QB and RB play hurt a lot this week.  Big match up with Von Top coming up this Sunday though.

7. Big Dick Playaz: Jacob Nolton: Wasted a huge day from his QB and lost because of awful production at one RB and WR position.   A matchup with Big TDs looms this week.

8. Big TDs: Natessa Bartleson: Picked up her first career fantasy win against Sand Huskies! A great defensive showing, along with over 50 points from Bears players helped out Big TDs this week. Can she move up more this week after a matchup with BDPZ?

9. KamiFozzy: Angelo Zaldarriaga: Moves up after a big win this week.  QB and WR anchored a strong week for Kamifozzy!  A matchup this week with fellow league rookie MBP with go along way in the divisional race.

10. Caucasian Invasion: Chelsea Frederick: Squandered away an opportunity to tie for an early division lead by losing to Kamifozzy.  Will need a big week from her WR if she hopes to take down league number 1 and defending champion, Accounting Championships.  A win could put CI in a tie for the division lead.

11. Manning Bear Pig: Colton Westerberg: Weak production at WR and zero points from an injured starter at TE kept MBP from moving to 2-0.  A matchup this week with Kamifozzy will be big for divisional standings.

12. The Eiffert Tower: Alex Johnson: picked up his first win as a member of The League.  Scored nicely this week this week due to Mike Vick putting up big numbers.  A repeat performance is needed if he hopes to hang with the high scoring New Shariff in Town.

13. Von Top: Jordan Westerberg: 4th place in the league breakdown standings but still sitting at 0-2.  Bad luck and tough opponents have hurt VT so far. Can the past regular season champion rally from this 0-2 start? This week is a must win for him against Aaron it Out.

14. Sand Huskies: Andrew Rosacker: Much his team's namesake, Sand Huskies is at the bottom of the totem pole right now.  Poor coaching led to 90 points being left on the bench, which amounted to a one point loss. It doesn't get any easier with an upcoming matchup against current week boss Bottom of the League.

Hope you enjoy the rankings.

Trade rumors are flying everywhere and many teams are looking to dump old talent in exchange for risky young guns.  Keep your phones open this week because you never know who will make you an offer. 

Until next time,

Evan Schurman

Reigning League Champion

Power Rankings Week 3

I know many have been anxiously awaiting this weeks edition of power rankings for "The League," so without any further ado here we go...

1. Purple Jesus: Zeke Kasper: Moves to the top of the rankings this week as the only undefeated team remaining. McCoy and Welker have lead him to 3 straight wins, however, this weeks win came against another low scoring opponent. Let's see if he can stay undefeated this week against Caucasian Invasion, who is coming off a big win against the defending league champion.

2. Big TDs: Natessa Bartleson: Can't argue with this ranking, Big TDs leads the league in overall scoring.  Fresh off this weeks Boss of the Week award BIg TDs has been lead by Russell Wilson and balanced scoring at both RB and WR. A tilt with her father awaits this week, can Big TDs take control of her division with a win or will she move back with the pack?

3. Caucasion Invasion: Chelsea Frederick: Moves into 3rd this week after scoring a big W against former number 1, Accounting Championships.  Credit her win to a big-time fill in performance from Joique Bell, who was filling in for Accounting Championships usual starting RB, Reggie Bush. A battle with current league number 1, Purple Jesus, is next with the winner potentially being the league number one next week.

4. Accounting Championships: Evan Schurman: Fell for the first time this year after having only 34 combined receiving yards from his 2 starting WR and TE.  Don't expect much more losing, as Accounting Championships continues to recover from key injuries. Will the WR position continue to be an issue or will he turn it around this week against Manning Bear Pig?

5. New Shariff in Town: Zach Frederick: Big win this week for NSiT to move to 2-1.  Lead by a huge performance from the Chiefs Def, he handled The Eiffert Tower. A matchup with Kamifozzy is up on the schedule as a battle between two 2-1 teams, huge for both men.

6. KamiFozzy: Angelo Zaldarriaga: Pulled out a close win against MBP this week after a high scoring game from the Bears Def.  Despite being 2-1 KF is currently trying to have a fire-sale with his players, looking for trades from multiple teams this week. Can he take down NSiT to move up in the rankings again?

7. Big Dick Playaz: Jacob Nolton: The leading scorer of all the remaining 1-2 teams so we'll stick him as the leader of the 1-2.  Fell to Big TDs, Week Boss, this but still managed respectable scoring.  Expect an improvement from Aaron Rodgers next week to boost BDPZ towards a potential victory against The Eiffert Tower.

8. Bottom of the League: Tony Bartleson: Fell to 1-2 this week after a loss to Sand Huskies, who picked up his 1st win this week.  Kaepernick was a disappointment for BotL again this week as he couldn't score over 5 points.  If BotL can get more from Kaep and keep up the production from J. Graham a win could be in store this week.

9. Von Top: Jordan Westerberg: Finally picked up his first win against Aaron it Out this week.  Jordan Cameron paced VT this week as he tore apart the Vikings useless defense.  The Seahawks D also scored fairly well for VT. He faces a battle against Sand Huskies this week in a battle of "Two teams who finally won a game."

10. Aaron It Out: Travis Owens: Rough week for AIO as he fell to VT after another poor performance from Tom Brady and CJ Spiller.  However, a few minor coaching moves and AIO is 2-1 and towards the top of the rankings this week.  Can he take down back to back Bitch of the Week MiEN this week and get to .500?

11. Sand Huskies: Andrew Rosacker: Finally picked up a win this week as he took down BotL.  Led again by Drew Brees and his new Wranglers commercial in scoring as well as a solid Ravens D.  One must really question the marketing dept. at Wrangler Jean Co. for choosing Brees as their new lead man....he'll never be Brett Favre-Sterger.

12. Manning Bear Pig: Colton Westerberg: Wasted a huge performance from DeMarco Murray this week in a loss to KamiFozzy. Better coaching is a must as MBP left nearly 100 points on the bench this week!! Another tough week awaits as he will do battle with Accounting Championships and Peyton Manning. 

13. The Eiffert Tower: Alex Johnson: Which Alex do I put in last place? TET stays out of last because he hasn't won back to back Bitch of the Week awards.....Can he turn it around this week against BDPZ?

14: Masturbation in Every Nation: Alex Christensen: BACK TO BACK BITCH OF THE WEEK AWARDS.....last place is guaranteed.....Poor QB play continues to plague MiEN.  Needs to get things straightened out or he'll be making an unwanted purchase at the end of the year...

That's a wrap on this week's power rankings.  If you have any complaints please post them below. 

Until next week friends,

Good Luck (some of you need it)

Your Defending Champion,

Evan Schurman